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Titus 2:3-5 (ESV)
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
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Proverbs 31: 10-12 and 26-30 (ESV)
The Woman Who Fears the Lord
10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
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Read the full transcript of this episode: (Automated transcript. Spelling and grammar errors are guaranteed)
Yvette Hampton: Okay. Hey everyone, welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. I hope you are having a fantastic day today. I am back with my amazing friend Aby Rinella or Abinella as you heard in my intro for part one and we are talking about the ministry of motherhood. If you have not listened to part one, go back and listen to that because we left you with a cliffhanger and so we're continuing on that conversation. So go back and listen to that first but Aby welcome back. Thank you.
Aby Rinella: Thanks for having me. And thank you so much for just being vulnerable and willing to share your heart about what God is doing in your life and the lessons he's teaching you because they're not unique to you. There are lessons we all need to learn and it just it's humbling and a blessing to hear you talk about it.
Yvette Hampton: Well thank you. All for God's grace, all for God's glory by his grace, not for his grace-
Aby Rinella: By his grace.
Yvette Hampton: And for his glory. I want people to like you said at the end of the last podcast, to just know we're in this together. This is real life, this is what we deal with as Christians, as Homeschool moms, as wives and so I want to be real. I want people to know just where I'm at. So we were talking in the last episode about just the conviction that the Lord has brought to me of having my priorities a little bit flip flopped in regards to the ministry of my family and the ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked and how he really just impressed upon me when I was away for a few days that I had it all backwards and mixed up. And I'm so grateful for that, I'm so grateful for his very gentle reminders.
Yvette Hampton: And so I was telling you about how I came back from that weekend away and I was able to talk with Garritt. We went for a family walk and I was able to just open up to him. I mean he's a wonderful husband so I'm always able to share my heart with him. As a matter of fact, we've been married 25 years which is incredible.
Aby Rinella: Wow.
Yvette Hampton: I know. By God's grace-
Aby Rinella: That's a quarter of a century.
Yvette Hampton: I know. Isn't that amazing?
Aby Rinella: No, yes. That's incredible.
Yvette Hampton: Wait you just doubted yourself for a second.
Aby Rinella: No, that's a quarter of a decade, quarter century? Century, a hundred years. You guys are well on your way to a century.
Yvette Hampton: We are. I know. It's amazing and you-
Aby Rinella: And considering you're only 26.
Yvette Hampton: I know, isn't that amazing? But in our-
Aby Rinella: Congratulations.
Yvette Hampton: Thank you. In our 25 years of marriage, he's learned to read me sometimes better than I can read myself and so I was able to just open up to him and I just shared all of this with him and just said I don't know what direction to go. I need to just step down from my daily grind of Schoolhouse Rocked and fundraising and because that's actually been the biggest part of my job is fundraising for the movie. And so said I just need to step down. I need to give my two week notice and be done with that and not completely done with ministry of course, but I really need to shift my priorities and he's so just... And let me really quickly, let me back up because one of the reasons why I feel so passionate about the ministry that God has called us to is because I get to do it with my husband.
Yvette Hampton: We get to work side by side and I think of the Proverbs 31 woman which actually want to talk about in a minute, but I think about that Proverbs 31 woman and the Titus two woman and how the Lord calls us to support our husbands. And so because of that, I felt like well I need to do this. I wasn't going out and working at another job nine to five and then coming home and not having anything left. I was actually working side by side with my husband ad so it felt like it should be right but for many months now it has felt wrong and we have felt like our family is just broken. Like it hasn't made sense and I haven't been able to put my finger on it. Garritt really hasn't because we're so consumed with ministry work.
Aby Rinella: Well there it is, there's the finger on it. So consumed with ministry work right?
Yvette Hampton: Right, consumed exactly.
Aby Rinella: Because we should not be consumed by any that shouldn't consume us above our family and husbands and children.
Yvette Hampton: Right. And that's what we've seen happening. And so we've just felt like we're in a state of emotional chaos and it's been really hard trying to just figure out what in the world, what do we change? What do we need to do? How do we need to do to fix this? Not that we need to fix it, but really trying to think Lord, what are you trying to teach me through all of this?
Aby Rinella: And isn't God's faithfulness amazing that you prayed that, you guys were on that same page and look how faithful he was to show you. He was so faithful to show you because you were faithful to listen.
Yvette Hampton: Yeah. Well what's interesting too is I talked with you about this after the fact and you said, "I've been praying for you about this."
Aby Rinella: I totally did the same exact. God put in my heart for my friend.
Yvette Hampton: It's so amazing. And then I talked with another friend of mine a few days ago we went and had coffee together and she said, "You have been so heavy on my heart. I've been praying for you." And so it's neat that the Lord has even put it on the hearts of other friends and family members who've been praying for us who didn't even really know. I mean, I couldn't have told you this is what I need prayer for. So anyway, back to our walk. We were walking, I was talking with Garritt and just saying this is where I'm at and I need step away from full time Schoolhouse Rocked ministry and really focus on our family, on our girls and because I miss them. Brooklyn is 14 we only have a few more years left with her and I feel like we have almost missed the last three years with her.
Yvette Hampton: Not completely, I mean we're with them all day, but I'm not really with them and so when that hit me that she's going to be gone in a few years that was the point where I just said it has to be done. I have to reprioritize and then you and I were talking and one of the things that you said was how unfortunate would it be if you got to the end of all of this, Brooklyn's ready to fly the coop and she hates everything about Homeschooling. She hates family. She has no relationship with the Lord or with you or with Garritt because we were so consumed with ministry.
Aby Rinella: With ministry exactly. And it reminds me of that verse that unless the Lord builds our house it's all in vain.
Yvette Hampton: Yeah, that's right. And that's what I feel like we've been doing unintentionally. And so Garritt and I mean very quickly, there was not even any hesitation at all he just said it's time for you to be done. It's time for you to step down and just to be full time wife and mom. And again I'll continue to do the podcast and I will still do things it's not like I'm going to completely shut out Schoolhouse Rocked, but it's not going to be my first ministry. And so it was so good to have just his stamp of approval and his encouragement and backing with this. And so later-
Aby Rinella: Because any husband needs a wife, he needs a wife.
Yvette Hampton: Yes. Right.
Aby Rinella: He knows his girls need a mama.
Yvette Hampton: That's right. So later that evening the girls got ready for bed and we had our family prayer time and then I was able to just sit with them and you know about me Aby and those who are close to me know I am not a crier, I do not. I am not an emotional person. I have feelings for sure and I can be expressive, but I am not emotional at all. It takes a lot for me to cry.
Aby Rinella: And I cry enough for both of us so.
Yvette Hampton: Right. And I was just so broken by this whole thing and what the Lord had shown me and so I went to my girls and I just said girls, I need to talk with you about something and they're 14 and nine and I told them all of this and I said, "This is what the Lord has shown me over the past few days and he started preparing me for this weeks ago." And I said "I am so sorry." And I had to go to them and I had to apologize and I just had to say, "Girls I have missed you and my priorities have not been right and I am so sorry that in the name of Schoolhouse Rocked and in the name of this ministry that's all about family discipleship and motherhood and Homeschooling, I've missed it somehow. And I've put you on the back burner and you've been choking on my dust for a few years now." And I mean the tears started flowing from all of us I actually cried Aby.
Aby Rinella: Wow.
Yvette Hampton: You would have been so proud.
Aby Rinella: I would have been so proud.
Yvette Hampton: But the look in their eyes of the relief and when I just said, I'm back. I'm going to be a full time mom now and I'm done with the 50 hours a week of Schoolhouse Rocked ministry and the funny thing was Brooklyn said, "Does this mean you're going to actually help us with school now?"
Aby Rinella: Oh my goodness.
Yvette Hampton: Here we are making a movie about Homeschooling and doing a podcast about Homeschooling and I said yes. And it was just such a sweet time and we cried together and we hugged a lot and I got to just hold them and I cannot tell you how just freeing it was and I literally felt like someone had lifted this enormous weight off of my shoulders. And they were so happy and they just were like, "Mom, we're so glad to have you back." And a few days later, Brooklyn said to me, we went to dinner, just the two of us and she said to me she goes, "Mom I'm so excited and I'm so glad that we get you back." She said, "Because just a few weeks ago you were recording a podcast with somebody about motherhood and the importance of being there with your kids." And she goes, "And all I could think was but you're not really here with us."
Aby Rinella: Oh my goodness.
Yvette Hampton: And I hear that from my 14 year old daughter. And so she just was like, "Mom, I'm so glad. I'm so excited to have you back." And so it's just so neat. The Lord is giving us time as a family to really regroup. We're taking a few weeks off we're recording this podcast a little bit prior to when it's going to air, but in a few weeks we're taking a two week sabbatical just our family. We're going to take some time off. We have an amazing friend who has offered us to stay in their Lake house and we're going to go for two weeks and we're going to just reset and have some time to just breathe and renew our family and then be able to come back and start all over and that is the beauty of the God that we serve.
Aby Rinella: Absolutely.
Yvette Hampton: He gives us second chances and-
Aby Rinella: And third chances and fourth chances.
Yvette Hampton: Millionth chances.
Aby Rinella: He does.
Yvette Hampton: Because he is full of grace and mercy and I'm so grateful for the things that he shows us and for his gentle discipline and his gentle reprimands and how he has used several people over the past few weeks in my life. Not even knowing what they were saying and you're one of them Aby, people just speaking truth without really realizing what it was leading up to. So in light of that I've been thinking through a couple of pieces of script scripture and I would love to hear some of your take on all of that but two of them and I mentioned them earlier is Titus two three... Actually let's take a quick break.
Aby Rinella: Okay.
Yvette Hampton: And then we're going to come back and I want to talk about some scripture that the Lord has really put on my heart.
Aby Rinella: Awesome.
Yvette Hampton: Okay. We are back with Aby and we are talking about the ministry of motherhood. And before the break I wanted to talk about some scripture that the Lord had put on my heart and one of them many of you are going to be familiar with it and for those who are not I would encourage you to go read the whole book of Titus. But Titus 2:3-5 is such an important passage for us as Christian women and as moms. And it says, this is the ESV version, it says "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children. To be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands" and this is the important part I need a drum roll here-
Aby Rinella: [drum roll sounds]
Yvette Hampton: "That the word of God may not be reviled." and I love that passage of scripture because that is really as Christian women who we are called to be. we are called to teach what is good, we are called to train the younger women in that in my family that is my daughters. God has given me two daughters and it is no one is going to train them the way that I will be able to train them by the grace of God and I can't do that if I'm completely consumed with ministry and doing other things. And to love my husband I need to spend time focusing on my husband and our relationship with one another. And to love their children to be self controlled, pure working at home. It's so good thing-
Aby Rinella: It's a great thing.
Yvette Hampton: Society wants to make us think that if we're not working outside of the home, that somehow we're not doing enough.
Aby Rinella: Fulfilling our purpose.
Yvette Hampton: Right.
Aby Rinella: Right. And I think about when it's doing enough I like how you say that. I think there's always going to be someone else that can do all these other aspects of ministry. There's going to be someone else that can make the phone calls, there's going to be someone else that can do all these other things, but there is no person that can replace you in your child's life as their mother. And the scary part is if you're not there, they're going to go looking for someone to replace that but there is nobody that can replace you. Someone else can write the email, someone else can make the phone calls and we're not saying don't serve. We're not saying don't serve in the church or in your community. We are not saying that, but we are saying that anything that comes at the expense of your children is not a good thing even if it looks good.
Aby Rinella: That there is only one mom for your kids and that's the one that God made for them. And we also feel this isn't enough. Sometimes sitting at home, wiping rear ends, cleaning the dishes, doing the laundry. We feel like these aren't big things to make a big impact in the world for our big Jesus. Sometimes we feel like we have to do these bigger things, but I think it comes down to do we trust God to do the big things while we're faithful in the small things? And when you were talking about scripture in Matthew I look at the Canaanite woman and you know what she did? She cried out to Jesus. That's literally what she did. She prayed, she prayed. She had a demon possessed daughter and she didn't go out and do all these big things. She cried out to Jesus. She prayed and that is our job as moms is are we praying for our kids or are we too busy doing the big things?
Aby Rinella: The things we think are big, but you know what if it weren't for that mama the turnout of that child would have been very different. And then I think of you mentioned Proverbs 31 which really that was King Lemuel's mom and we look at all the big things she did. She bought land and she sold land and you know that's kind of intimidating but do you know what that passage really is? That was her teaching her son. That whole part of Proverbs 31 is a mom sitting down teaching her son God's ways. That is what Proverbs 31 was. He was looking for a wife, he was not yet married and she sat down and she was teaching him what God wanted in a woman and what did that mom do? She taught her son about Godliness and wisdom.
Aby Rinella: She didn't say, I don't have time or you know what? I have this other job to do that's more important. Or let me send this email or let me. No, she sat down and she talked to him and she taught him God's way. These are little things, praying for our kids we don't really think that's big. Sitting down and talking to our kids, we don't think that's big. And then I always think about the boy with the fish who brought his fish and his loaves and Jesus did this incredible miracle for thousands of people. And I think you know what? There was a mama somewhere that packed that little boy's lunch. And all three of these women, the Canaanite woman, King Lemuel's mom, the mama that pack the lunch there's no names in there.
Aby Rinella: They don't have names. We kind of think oh, they're just unimportant women we didn't even have a name for them. But they did the most incredible things and we think all they do is sit at home and pack lunches and wipe bums sorry, that one keeps coming but it doesn't sound like a very glorious job, right? We don't think that's going to make an impact on the kingdom, but there was a mom who took the time to pack a little lunch and I always picture speaking of imagery, a little brown bag, which I'm sure that's not what he packed in. And she took the time to do the small menial tasks that we're called to do as moms and God used those little things to make huge impacts, waves rippling down to where we're still reading those stories today. So moms, if you want to make an impact on the culture around you, if you want to make a wave in the world be mom first. Do the things that we need to do first, love your kids, pray for your kids, talk to your kids, make them the lunches, play the games, teach them truth and that is the big ministry of motherhood.
Yvette Hampton: Yes, yes. Oh, I love that so much, Aby. When I was pregnant with Brooklyn, I had a mom say to me once she said, "Become the wife and mom that you want her to become." And that has always stuck with me. And if you have sons you be the wife and mom that you want your sons to marry. I mean, there is no greater thing and I would never want my daughters to grow up with my grandchildren and have to completely constantly push them to the side. I'm sorry, I don't have time for you. I'm sorry I don't have time even though you're sitting right next to me. I'm present, but I'm not really present.
Aby Rinella: Right. I'm too busy.
Yvette Hampton: I'm too busy. And that's not God's heart for family. And I love you talking about the Proverbs 31 woman and as I was reading through that passage today there were a few verses in there that I want to point out. And verses 10-12 it says and it's all about a woman who fears the Lord that's what Proverbs 31 is. And verses 10-12 says "An excellent wife who can find she is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life." And then you skip down to verse 26 and there's a whole bunch of stuff in the middle of what she does but you go down to verse 26 and it says "She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." And let me just stop there for a second because oftentimes when we're so busy and so consumed with other things-
Aby Rinella: We snap.
Yvette Hampton: We're not very kind.
Aby Rinella: No, we snap at them.
Yvette Hampton: We don't have the patience for our kids and this says the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Well we can't teach something we don't have and so if we're not being kind our children aren't going to be kind to one another to us, to others. And then it continues on, it says "She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her. Many women have done exceedingly but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." And I love that it ends with but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised because it's all about him, all of it. It's all about him. It's all about pointing our kids towards Christ. And I mess up as a mom all the time but how heartbreaking it would be for my girls to come out of our home.
Yvette Hampton: We only have them for such a short time and if they left my home and felt like I wasn't there for them, and like I put everyone and everything else above them which really is what I have been doing. How sad would that be for them to just walk away and I would have no relationship with them. And its all about-
Aby Rinella: Right, right and how dishonoring to God really because really the big picture is and where our motive as moms come from is it must be the Lord. We aren't doing this mom thing for any other reason that God has called us to do it. And this is our God given purpose and when we embrace that we no longer have this emptiness and I need to be doing more and I'm not doing enough and I need to be doing something bigger because we are seeing this big picture that this is God's calling. And honestly when I slack in this area, I'm dishonoring God. I'm not answering the call that he's given me and it's really not about me. It's about... I mean think, just think I get so excited about what motherhood is. We are raising people who will worship God. I mean it's about God.
Aby Rinella: And if I get too busy, I'm sacrificing worshipers right? And we are raising the future heads of homes. And I know we talked about early we want to make an impact on the world. Well, the best way we can make an impact on the world is by raising Godly men that will lead a home and by raising Godly women who will teach and train her children in him. That's going to be what impacts a world. So we have to have the right perspective that none of this is about me and it really isn't even about my kids either it's about God and the way that he designed things to work the best. So when we have that perspective, we can wipe those little bums with joy because we know that we are doing kingdom work when we are doing the menial things day to day.
Yvette Hampton: Absolutely. I cannot not agree more and it seems insignificant, it so often seems like another math lesson, another-
Aby Rinella: Another meal-
Yvette Hampton: Another meal, another 20 minutes of sitting with my child while they go c a t teaching them how to read. It seems-
Aby Rinella: Right. Another fight and helping them resolve, another fire I'm putting out.
Yvette Hampton: Right. I mean there are so many things in our day to day life that just seem meaningless and none of them are meaningless. Every single thing we do with our kids has an impact.
Aby Rinella: Is an act of worship, yes.
Yvette Hampton: Well it should be an active worship and they all are going to impact our kids one way or another, either negatively or positively. And there's no perfect mom, there's no perfect parent so we're often going to have negative impacts on our kids, but what are we characterized by really? And what do we want our kids to be characterized by? And so we have been given such a gift of being able to have these precious children that God has entrusted to us. It is our job to steward those children into embraced their hearts not just take care of their physical needs. And no matter what ministry it is, it could be church ministry, it can be something like what we're doing, or maybe you're a blogger or maybe you do foster care. That's one that I've seen... I mean, I think foster care is amazing. Absolutely it's so desperately needed but I've seen it happen where the foster family it's their whole family is completely overwhelmed with foster care in the name of ministry and they've forgotten their first ministry. And I'm not saying that foster care is bad, I'm just saying what are your priorities right?
Aby Rinella: None of these things are bad as long as they don't come before. Just like anything in life. Marriage is good but if my marriage comes before Christ it's no longer good. Anything we have to have it goes Jesus, husband, children and then all the other things. And when we can get those things, when we can get our house in order, things are going to go smoothly. And that's just the reality of it.
Yvette Hampton: Right. Because the Lord will honor our obedience. And I think it's constantly having to check and recheck and trusting that the Lord is going to provide the things that we feel like we're lacking in. And again, it's his kingdom work and so with me with Schoolhouse Rocked I will do what I can do when I can do it and everything else I'm going to trust the Lord.
Aby Rinella: Yeah. If he wants it done, he's going to get it done. He is God.
Yvette Hampton: That's right. He does not need me to accomplish his will. So Aby thank you for being my prayer warrior. You have been such an amazing blessing and thank you for those of you who listen to the podcast. I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to get random messages for people. It's so often comes at just the right time or somebody will send me an email or they'll message me on Facebook or text message me and just say, "Just thinking about you today. I'm praying for you or how can I pray for you?" And we need that in the body of Christ. We need to do that for one another. We need to come alongside our mama friends, link arms with them and say, how can I support you? How can I help you? How can I pray for you? What are you struggling with?
Yvette Hampton: And then we need to be real with one another and we need to just keep pressing on in doing what the Lord has called us to do. So I'm just so grateful for this ministry. I still strongly obviously believe in it but the ministry of my family is my first and most important ministry. So please pray for us as we continue to move forward with Schoolhouse Rocked and as I'm stepping down, pray for Garritt because now I don't know this is going to put a heavier load on him but again, we're trusting that the Lord is going to just take care of it. He's going to accomplish-
Aby Rinella: I think it's going to put a heavier load on the Lord and he can handle it because he is God.
Yvette Hampton: He really can that's right. That is exactly.
Aby Rinella: He can handle all of it. Well thank you for sharing this because it encourages all of us because I think that we constantly need to be stepping back and reevaluating. I noticed with Homeschool moms, we do it in the fall. We get all our ducks in the row in the fall, and then we have the February meltdown where we redo it again. Right? But we need to constantly be saying, are my priorities? So you've inspired me. You've inspired me to go out and honestly it to ask my kids, do you feel like mom was there for you or do you feel like I'm not? And our husbands, am I available the way that you need me to be available or do I seem too busy? So thank you for spurring all of us on with your vulnerability.
Yvette Hampton: Well, it is what the Lord is doing in me right now.
Aby Rinella: It's a good thing.
Yvette Hampton: And so I'm glad to share it because it's hard to be vulnerable sometimes and to share the reality of our lives but at the same time, I know it's not just me. I know I'm not the only one who's dealing with this issue of priorities and of motherhood.
Aby Rinella: Well I can't wait to see what God's going to do. When you start making those little sack lunches he's going to feed thousands through your obedience.
Yvette Hampton: But wait a minute. Why do I need to make sack lunches when we eat at home? I'm confused.
Aby Rinella: Yeah that's true.
Yvette Hampton: Unless we go to the park.
Aby Rinella: And you can now because you're going to be doing more of that.
Yvette Hampton: Do you make sack lunches for your kids at home?
Aby Rinella: No, I don't.
Yvette Hampton: Do you put little notes in them and stuff. And your like your kids-
Aby Rinella: In the summer I'll pack them lunches to take out in the backyard because they think that's great fun.
Yvette Hampton: Yes it is. So well, you say in the summer because you live in stinking freezing Idaho but-
Aby Rinella: That's true.
Yvette Hampton: I'm in Georgia where it's like 75 degrees today-
Aby Rinella: Oh yeah you can do that all year round. Go make a sack lunch. Well we are so excited to see what God does with your family, with the ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked and with your ministry of the Hampton family.
Yvette Hampton: Yeah. The Ham Fam as my friend [Jesse 00:53:11] calls it.
Aby Rinella: The Ham Fam I love that.
Yvette Hampton: I think she gets that from Cam Fam, which is Kurt Cameron's ministry-
Aby Rinella: Oh that's funny.
Yvette Hampton: The Cam Fam studio so she calls us Ham fam but anyway, thank you Aby and thank you guys for listening today.
Aby Rinella: Thank you.
Yvette Hampton: You are such a blessing and again as I said at the end of the last podcast, we would love it if you would tell us how the ministry of Schoolhouse Rocked is impacting you, how this podcast is impacting you, how Homegrown Generation Family Expo has impacted you, our blog, our social media, whatever it is. We would just love to know that we are making a difference in your life and that it has been a blessing to you and to your family. And if there are questions that you want answered and any way that we can serve you let us know.
Yvette Hampton: I will do the podcast so I won't answer all your questions but I will answer some and so just let us know. If there are podcast episodes that you would like us to do, if there are certain things you would like us to address, let us know. If there are certain guests that you'd like to hear on the podcast, let us know. We would be glad to invite some of them on and so we're in this for God's glory and to serve you. So let us know how we can do that. You can learn more of course at SchoolhouseRocked.com and make sure you share with your friends. So thank you guys so much for being with us today. Have a fantastic rest of your week. And Aby, thank you for being a blessing to me and a prayer warrior-
Aby Rinella: Thank you.
Yvette Hampton: And we will be back next week. Have a good day. Bye.
Aby Rinella: Bye.